The Gift of Gab

The Gift of Gab

The truth is not is not determined by what other people think; however, no matter what you know or how strongly you feel about it, if you can’t persuade others to believe in it it will be treated as worthless.  Winning an argument means, and only means, that you can convince others to believe in what you believe, to buy in to it. Think of yourself more as a salesman, selling ideas, with the possibility that a mental door can be slammed in your face at any moment. You have to plead your case, but always be respectfully of the reality that you can be tuned out. Part of convincing someone is saying something with complete conviction; it is the intensity of belief in your voices that determines whether people believe you. However, the fear of being disliked often prevents people from committing to their statements in this way. It’s quite an irony you feel compelled to say something half-heartedly because you fear others may not believe you when it’s saying it like you “mean it” that actually encourages them to believe you; how ironic. Another part of convincing someone is phrasing and brevity. Shakespeare once said “brevity is the soul of wit.” 1.) When you use few words something often sounds more forceful and it is usually more emotionally compelling and when something arouse strong emotion its likely to be more memorable (to stick in your gut so to say). 2.) Often times if you don’t get to the point quickly, you may lose your chance to say what you want to say. (i.e. the conversation has gone on or someone has tuned you out) 3.) When you are brief you give people something they can easily remember; you give them a tagline or bumper sticker that they can take with them. Particularly, for the aforementioned reasons you want to leave people with points whether that be in conversation or a speech, as it is something to take with you but also it reasons to compel belief in a particular position. The problem is this though, many people simply vomit out their words when you should think about what you want to say then sharpen your words. Revision always makes things simpler to say because once you figured out what you want to say you can think of ways to say it more effectively, but you have to think of what you want to say first. This is why if you ask someone a question they have not thought about or you surpise them with it you are likely not to get an effective and persuasive answer, if even a coherent answer, when an effective an persuasive answer does exist; then that persons position gets underrated (I always hated that). Another thing, if you are not calm it is also more likely that you want be able to think clearly enough to come up with a good answer. Many people are not aware of the difference revision and calmness can make to your mouthpiece, but it can be quite drastic. Additionally, you always want to use analogies because it puts intangible concepts into concrete realities, it tells you what vague feelings are clearly are like, it offers common life examples as proof and it illuminates things (gives you an image that grabs your attention). An analogy uses something that you clearly understand to explain something that you don’t understand. It goes without saying you always want to make sense, always otherwise what you know can simply be dismissed as “nonsensical” or they simply won’t believe you because they won’t understand you; this again takes calmness and patience. Before making a point you need to know your audience, as in you need to know what your audience believes and what they doubt, what they hate and what they love, what they are interested in and what they are not interested in; convincing some people of somethings is like trying to punch a break wall, but you can work those “roots” as Frederick Douglass called it. You can take what they believe, what they want and emphasize how it aligned with what you are arguing. Holding someone’s attention is importance so  there is often the need for cadences, good tonality, and dynamics. Repetition is very important to persuasion since hearing something again and again encourages you to believe; the sun has been rising and setting all your life and somehow you expect it occur automatically. Another important thing is the shock of the point; a point that might not be that strong becomes more stunning when you are not expecting it, your emotional guard is not up.  Lastly, I mentioned the importance of being brief, making points with brevity, but it is also important to be long winded as well so you are not misunderstood; when you make a point there is usually a plethora of other things that it could imply, many diverging mental paths, conclusions, others can take with some being very good and others being very bad, and by being long winded you say what you imply and what you did not imply. There is no room for confusion. (Proverbs 18:21) #SuiGeneris